Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
