I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
