I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
