he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
