I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
