never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
