This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
