the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
