can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
