Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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