just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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