I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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