i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize