I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
