By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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