Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
