How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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