aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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