there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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