I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
