guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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