I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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