he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
