I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
