see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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