my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize