Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
