Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
