wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
