News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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