spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
