Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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