If i come over, it means nothing
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
