just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
