Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize