What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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