I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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