R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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