He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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