I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
