That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
