Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
