There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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