I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
