I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
