I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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