I CAN MOONWALK!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
