Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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