I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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