Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
