Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
