i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
