yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
