Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
do nipples grow back?
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