you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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