you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
