the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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