I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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