She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
