Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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